I have stupidly tolerate 5 years of your nonsense that whenever you are unhappy or that you are dumped by someone and you came looking for me.
How much of such heartaches do I have to face each time you came and disappear from my life. Each time I see your name appearing on my screen, part of me feels happy to hear from you again and the consequences? Tons of tears and sleepless nights.
The heartache of seeing you being with someone else. The heartache of seeing you with different girls. The heartache that I have never learnt my lessons. The heartache of being used, knowing it but continue turning a blind eye to it. The heartache of not knowing when you will disappear again and reappear someday.
One week for myself to make this major decision of officially blocking you from my contacts since you cannot forget my number.
Never be shortchanged. Never lose yourself in the process of loving someone and it us worse if they are unworthy. Especially when it is true love that you are seeking for.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Friday, October 3, 2014
Me
You know those days that I laughed so hard and smile so much, they are happy moments but I am filled with pain.
You know those days where people misunderstood why I have slept so much but what they do not know is that I try to sleep away my pain.
You know those day when I could not sleep despite that I am tired. It is those nights that memories and tons of non-answerable questions float through my mind.
The feeling of being depressed is that you feel that you can never be happy again.
No matter how much wonderful moments or memories you tried to create, you just can't be happy like before.
No matter how much people who shows or claimed that they are here for you, that they love you, you just feel so lonely no matter what.
It is a feeling where you feel no one understands what you are going through and that you are constantly misunderstood for your actions, your choices made.
The feeling where you do not want others to know that this is what you are going through right now.
The pain. Just the pain that no one can get it.
You know those days where people misunderstood why I have slept so much but what they do not know is that I try to sleep away my pain.
You know those day when I could not sleep despite that I am tired. It is those nights that memories and tons of non-answerable questions float through my mind.
The feeling of being depressed is that you feel that you can never be happy again.
No matter how much wonderful moments or memories you tried to create, you just can't be happy like before.
No matter how much people who shows or claimed that they are here for you, that they love you, you just feel so lonely no matter what.
It is a feeling where you feel no one understands what you are going through and that you are constantly misunderstood for your actions, your choices made.
The feeling where you do not want others to know that this is what you are going through right now.
The pain. Just the pain that no one can get it.
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