5 years..

I have stupidly tolerate 5 years of your nonsense that whenever you are unhappy or that you are dumped by someone and you came looking for me.

How much of such heartaches do I have to face each time you came and disappear from my life. Each time I see your name appearing on my screen, part of me feels happy to hear from you again and the consequences? Tons of tears and sleepless nights.

The heartache of seeing you being with someone else. The heartache of seeing you with different girls. The heartache that I have never learnt my lessons. The heartache of being used, knowing it but continue turning a blind eye to it. The heartache of not knowing when you will disappear again and reappear someday.

One week for myself to make this major decision of officially blocking you from my contacts since you cannot forget my number.

Never be shortchanged. Never lose yourself in the process of loving someone and it us worse if they are unworthy. Especially when it is true love that you are seeking for.

Me

You know those days that I laughed so hard and smile so much, they are happy moments but I am filled with pain.

You know those days where people misunderstood why I have slept so much but what they do not know is that I try to sleep away my pain.

You know those day when I could not sleep despite that I am tired. It is those nights that memories and tons of non-answerable questions float through my mind.

The feeling of being depressed is that you feel that you can never be happy again.

No matter how much wonderful moments or memories you tried to create, you just can't be happy like before.

No matter how much people who shows or claimed that they are here for you, that they love you, you just feel so lonely no matter what.

It is a feeling where you feel no one understands what you are going through and that you are constantly misunderstood for your actions, your choices made.

The feeling where you do not want others to know that this is what you are going through right now.

The pain. Just the pain that no one can get it.

好累

I hardly tell my parents about the issues and problems that I have to deal in my daily life.

But the recent unhappy episodes made me broke down and cry. Work has not be as smooth sailing.

I have never felt as lost in my life.

Missing

I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

Whenever I see your picture and those memories floats back.

Daily Reminder

"If we believe tomorrow is better, we will bear the hardship of today."

Tears

Life brings exciting new discoveries yea? I'm hurting and in pain.

Necessary?

My love whom I fall in love with unexpectedly, your immature and inconsiderate actions affected me deeply.

Have you ever consider how your own actions and thoughts could affect my feelings?

You are the least person I could think of that will re-deleted me from facebook and un-follow me from instagram. If it was accidentally as claimed, deletion from 2 different social media was too coincidence.

I hope you understand someday that you may have broken my heart but not my love for you. And I hope this genuine feelings will regain your lost faith in loving someone worthy someday. Always remember, don't be short changed.